For Better Living

You’re Not Getting Older, You’re Getting Better

While the aging process may bring about physical aches and pains, a person’s psychological health actually improves with age. That’s the conclusion of a study conducted at the University of California at Berkeley. Researchers tracked the same group of people for 50 years, assessing their psychological health about every 10 years. They found that productivity, the quality of interpersonal relationships and the ability to behave compassionately toward others all improve with age. Even teenagers who had problems during adolescence (all subjects were first interviewed at 14) showed signs of improvement across their lifespans, suggesting that aging really isn’t about getting older, but getter better. (American Psychological Association)

Expressing Your Feelings

Expressing feelings isn’t easy. Many of us were taught as children to hide our feelings or to not express them. We carry this lesson into adulthood, and when someone says or does something to upset us, we say nothing because we grew up believing it’s a greater offense to make another person uncomfortable than it is to be outspoken about our feelings. If you find it hard to express your feelings, try these steps. First, tune in to what your body is saying to you. If you’re feeling uncomfortable or upset, decide what made you feel that way. Was it something someone said or did – or didn’t say or do? Next, decide what you are feeling. Are you feeling unappreciated or angry? Now that you’ve got a name for the feeling, think of the way you can express yourself and pick one. For example, if you’re feeling unappreciated, you come right out and say it: “I feel unappreciated when you (etc., etc.).” You could also write about it and mail the offending person your letter. Always choose a safe, nonthreatening way to express yourself. You can accomplish much more being assertive than being aggressive.

Don’t Skip That Vacation!

Think a vacation may cost you your job or limit your chance at a promotion? It’s not uncommon for career-minded people to think so. But it’s dangerous not to take time away. Stress management experts offer three reasons. First vacations are times of rejuvenation and renewal. Not to take advantage of them only increases stress. Also, passing on a vacation because you think you’ll lose your job is a sign of cynical hostility, a personality trait that’s a known contributor to heart disease. Someone who feels that cynical about a job probably feels cynical about other things, and that’s dangerous. As a final reason, one stress management expert found that most supervisors don’t know their employees’ vacation patterns. That should be reason enough to go out and enjoy the time off.