Archive for July, 2009

Do you struggle with goal setting?

July 27, 2009

Motivated Reader:

Do you struggle with goal setting? I have experimented with many techniques to set good goals that stick, keep me motivated and help me reach the outcomes I desire. I’m sure you have done your share as well. Do you seem to fall short too frequently?

Below are some techniques to keep you focused and motivated:

  1. Reframe your goals. Like affirmations, goals are more effective when they are stated in a positive goalmanner rather than as something you “shouldn’t” do. For instance, a positive goal might be: To maintain a healthy body weight. A negative goal might be: To not eat sweets.
  2. Be realistic. Sticking with the diet analogy, a goal to exercise for 2 hours a day for the next year is going to be very difficult to maintain. A goal that slightly increases you current level of activity would be more achievable. You can always name a new goal once you maintain that level for some time.
  3. Watch you mouth.Notice how you speak about your goals. Saying, “I want to lose weight” is a wish. Saying, “I am dropping weight while I’m getting healthier and healthier” is ia statement of fact. This can be way more motivating than the weaker wishes.
  4. Work backwards. Sometimes a long term goal seems good, but if you never break it down to baby steps, you can never meet it. I like to set the goal: To be slim and fit. Then define HOW WILL I KNOW THIS: I will weigh _____; I will be able to ______; I will wear size ____. Then I can define further: to weigh xxx, each day I will eat 9 servings of fruits and vegetables each day, drink 32 oz of water, etc. This seems to reinforce how short term actions build to long term goals.
  5. Build habits. Your habits do build your life. Even behaviors like positive self talk or being more mindful take conscious practice and consistent repetition to become part of our being.

If you would like to share an experience, please comment on this blog; I’d love to hear from you. If you would like assistance in managing this or other emotional challenges, please contact our offices at 850-226-8585 or visit our website at www.SoundsideWellness.com.

Thank you for being exactly who you were meant to be andĀ comeĀ  back and visit my blog again!

~Allison

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“What Were They Thinking?”

July 27, 2009

Dear Reader:

Did you ever wonder “What were they thinking?”

As a counselor and a manager, I have had a few opportunities to ponder over this. It intrigues me to try to find the thread of logic that brings someone to a decision which is detrimental to themselves or others. This can lead to anger, hurt, anxiety or other uncomfortable emotions to deal with.

There are several processes that I’ve found helpful and I’d like to share with you.

  1. You have control of only one person… that’s yourself. Letting go of trying to control someone else’s decisions and the outcomes can be very frightening, but liberating. Think about how much more energy you can access doing something this is important to you.
  2. Other approaches to decisions create opportunities. Frequently, someone who thinks very differently than you do adds more value to a process. have you ever solved a math problem one way and someone else solved it a completely different way? And you both got the answer right? Honor the different thinking processes that others bring to the table.
  3. We all believe we’re right. Very few people make decisions thinking, “I’m going to make the worst decision I can think of.” Most of us make what we believe to be the best decision given the circumstances. When you can ask questions around why someone thinks their idea is good can give insight.
  4. Good things come from bad situations. Over and over again, you see great people developed through truly terrible situations. If decisions lead to terrible outcomes, it can work a tremendous positive change in the world.

Experiencing the impact of bad decisions can be devastating. Consider the mother of a child killed by a drunk driver or in fact, the drunk driver who has to live with the results of their own bad decision. Practicing these thought techniques on smaller scale problems can strengthen your ability to respond to larger problems without becoming focused on anger and blame.

If you would like to share an experience, please comment on this blog; I’d love to hear from you. If you would like assistance in managing this or other emotional challenges, please contact our offices at 850-226-8585 or visit our website at www.SoundsideWellness.com.

Thank you for being exactly who you were meant to be and come back and visit my blog again!

~Allison