Posts Tagged ‘couples’

Healthy Relationships – Keys to Success

September 24, 2015

Whether it’s a relationship with a spouse, significant other, friend or colleague, it’s important that the relationships you have are healthy ones. We’re often good at spotting unhealthy relationships, but what exactly makes a relationship a healthy one? Bestselling author and relationship expert, Margaret Paul, Ph.D., has some fundamentals to healthy relationships:

Emotional Responsibility – Paul posits this is the most important ingredient for creating a healthy relationship. It involves taking responsibility for your own feelings, rather than trying to make your partner responsible for your own happiness, emotional safety and self-worth. These feelings have to come from valuing yourself and not abandoning how you feel.

Enjoying Time Together and Apart – In a healthy relationship, partners enjoy being together but their well-being is not dependent on the other person. When your happiness depends on someone else; it’s called emotional dependency and is the opposite of emotional responsibility. Ideally, both people should feel supported when they pursue separate interests or spend time with their own friends.

Learning Through Conflict – Partners are able to learn and grow through conflict when they’re in a healthy relationship. Conflicts are not about who’s right or who won, it’s about listening to each other’s viewpoints and using conflict as a way to evolve.

Trust and Support – People in healthy relationships trust that the other person has their best interest in mind and will not intentionally hurt them. They support each other and feel joy in seeing their partner happy. They’re not threatened by their partner’s joy or success, but rather are proud and delighted by it.

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Twelve Traits of Healthy Couples

June 17, 2013

Only 10% to 15% of couples who have been together for more than five years report that they’re in the relationship they always wanted. Researchers studied these satisfied couples and found the following 12 traits common among them.

Priorities – Healthy couples list quality time together at the top of their priorities.

Time – Instead of just saying it’s a priority, however, these couples make time to be together and pay a lot of attention to each other.

Recovery From Arguments – All couples argue, but these couples practice methods that help them quickly recover from arguments and hurt feelings. They also can set aside their arguing to focus on other things, then resume ironing out differences later.

Touch – These couples also do a lot of touching – hand holding, snuggling, hugging, kissing.

Romancing – These couples also know the importance of surprise, tenderness, compliments and special little gifts – the stuff of romance.

Anticipation – Healthy couples look forward to being with each other. They build excitement and anticipation in their relationship by planning short getaways or special dates.

Playfulness – Healthy couples value playfulness, spontaneity and humor, and they use these devices to help overcome life’s hardships.

Communication – These couples are honest and open with each other. They also freely talk about the things that attract them most to their partner.

Sharing – Healthy couples share their fears and dreams with each other. Sharing their deepest thoughts brings them closer together.

Parenting – These couples are committed to their children, yet minimize the negative impact children can have on the partnership, particularly with respect to time.

Equality – healthy couples value each other as equals. No partner shoulders more responsibility than the other.

Conflict Resolution – Healthy couples resolve conflicts in healthy ways. They express their feelings, pay attention to their partner’s feelings and downplay their differences.

Source: University of Cincinnati Psychological Services Center