The alternate title for this post could be Giving Up, but that might not be very compelling!

Recently, I began a jogging program for the first time in my life. It is a prescribed program of interval training designed to build stamina and prevents injury or burnout. Last week, I ran for 25 minutes straight!

The first 5 minutes after I start to run, my muscles start to balk and my lungs believe there is not enough air to breathe. Because my confidence was built by doing shorter stints, I learned that you have to push through. My muscles remember they will keep moving. My lungs remember that air is abundant. I have a breakthrough and start to feel that I could run for quite some time.

I see the same pheonomenon happening all around me in nature. Waves build to a crescendo just before they crash and become peaceful. Seeds rupture and burst before they become beautiful flowers. These are breakthroughs as well.

Many times, we experience a tremendous amount of pain just before we have a breakthrough. In fact, experiencing pain may be a necessity to moving to our next level of growth. Reframing negative experiences as a step on the path to the wonderful things that are to come is a great way to flow through difficulties without getting stuck.

We can build the tolerance muscle the same way that we build our physical muscles. Recognizing the smaller challenges and acknowledging our ability to move through them builds our confidence for when we reach the bigger challenges that life brings us.

How have you proven to yourself that you can move through painful circumstances?

Where are you stuck in painful feelings? How can you allow yourself to fully experience them and move through them?

If you have questions or feel you need help with achieving breakthroughs on your own, we are here to help. Call us at 850-226-8585 to schedule an appointment.

Stay in touch,

Allison

Do you struggle with goal setting? I have experimented with many techniques to set good goals that stick, keep me motivated and help me reach the outcomes I desire. I’m sure you have done your share as well. Do you seem to fall short too frequently?

Below are some techniques to keep you focused and motivated:

1. Reframe your goals. Like affirmations, goals are more effective when they are stated in a positive manner rather than as something you “shouldn’t” do. For instance, a positive goal might be: To maintain a healthy body weight. A negative goal might be: To not eat sweets.
2. Be realistic. Sticking with the diet analogy, a goal to exercise for 2 hours a day for the next year is going to be very difficult to maintain. A goal that slightly increases you current level of activity would be more achievable. You can always name a new goal once you maintain that level for some time.
3. Watch you mouth.Notice how you speak about your goals. Saying, “I want to lose weight” is a wish. Saying, “I am dropping weight while I’m getting healthier and healthier” is ia statement of fact. This can be way more motivating than the weaker wishes.
4. Work backwards. Sometimes a long term goal seems good, but if you never break it down to baby steps, you can never meet it. I like to set the goal: To be slim and fit. Then define HOW WILL I KNOW THIS: I will weigh _____; I will be able to ______; I will wear size ____. Then I can define further: to weigh xxx, each day I will eat 9 servings of fruits and vegetables each day, drink 32 oz of water, etc. This seems to reinforce how short term actions build to long term goals.
5. Build habits. Your habits do build your life. Even behaviors like positive self talk or being more mindful take conscious practice and consistent repetition to become part of our being.

If you would like to share an experience, please comment on this blog; I’d love to hear from you. If you would like assistance in managing this or other emotional challenges, please contact our offices at 850-226-8585 or visit our website at www.SoundsideWellness.com.

Thank you for being exactly who you were meant to be and come  back and visit my blog again!

~Allison

Did you ever wonder “What were they thinking?”

As a counselor and a manager, I have had a few opportunities to ponder over this. It intrigues me to try to find the thread of logic that brings someone to a decision which is detrimental to themselves or others. This can lead to anger, hurt, anxiety or other uncomfortable emotions to deal with.

There are several processes that I’ve found helpful and I’d like to share with you.

1. You have control of only one person… that’s yourself. Letting go of trying to control someone else’s decisions and the outcomes can be very frightening, but liberating. Think about how much more energy you can access doing something this is important to you.
2. Other approaches to decisions create opportunities. Frequently, someone who thinks very differently than you do adds more value to a process. have you ever solved a math problem one way and someone else solved it a completely different way? And you both got the answer right? Honor the different thinking processes that others bring to the table.
3. We all believe we’re right. Very few people make decisions thinking, “I’m going to make the worst decision I can think of.” Most of us make what we believe to be the best decision given the circumstances. When you can ask questions around why someone thinks their idea is good can give insight.
4. Good things come from bad situations. Over and over again, you see great people developed through truly terrible situations. If decisions lead to terrible outcomes, it can work a tremendous positive change in the world.

Experiencing the impact of bad decisions can be devastating. Consider the mother of a child killed by a drunk driver or in fact, the drunk driver who has to live with the results of their own bad decision. Practicing these thought techniques on smaller scale problems can strengthen your ability to respond to larger problems without becoming focused on anger and blame.

If you would like to share an experience, please comment on this blog; I’d love to hear from you. If you would like assistance in managing this or other emotional challenges, please contact our offices at 850-226-8585 or visit our website at www.SoundsideWellness.com.

Thank you for being exactly who you were meant to be and come back and visit my blog again!

~Allison

According to the American Psychiatric Association, pathological gambling is a treatable mental health disorder. Some of the characteristics to look for are a loss of control over gambling, chasing losses to regain lost money, lies and deception, family and job disruption, financial bailouts and illegal acts. Studies show that among compulsive gamblers, the crime rate can reach 50-67%. It is estimated that problem and pathological gamblers cost the United States approximately $5 billion per year and an additional $40 billion in lifetime costs for productivity reductions, social services and creditor losses.

Prevalence studies done by the Florida Council on Compulsive Gambling (FCCG) have documented that adult problem and pathological gamblers are almost four times as likely to have been arrested as non-problem gamblers, and adolescents are also exhibiting illegal behavior related to their gambling. An FCCG study of youth within the Florida Department of Juvenile Justice system found that 17% of adolescents, ages 11-20, attributed their imprisonment in the juvenile justice facility to gambling.

Based on 3,270 calls to the FCCG Help Line (2007/2008), illegal acts fund gambling or to pay off gambling debts has been committed by 30% of the callers (by fraud, embezzlement, larceny, theft and other acts). As part of their educational program, the National Council on Problem Gambling has established a web site to highlight issues and increase public knowledge while celebrating their 7th annual NCPG Awareness Week. The website can be found at: www.youtube.com/npgaw2009.

Gambling addiction, as with any type of addiction, is a disorder that should be treated by a qualified gambling professional. Soundside Wellness Consultants, located at 205 Shell Avenue in Ft. Walton Beach, has a certified gambling professional on staff that will address gambling issues and assist individuals on their path to recovery. If you would like to receive additional information or schedule an appointment for services please call Soundside at (850) 226-8585.